{"id":2967,"date":"2016-12-12T03:39:50","date_gmt":"2016-12-12T11:39:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/?p=2967"},"modified":"2024-02-08T01:35:41","modified_gmt":"2024-02-08T09:35:41","slug":"get-december-without-bingeing-day-12","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bingeeatingtherapy.com\/get-december-without-bingeing-day-12\/","title":{"rendered":"Get Through December Without Bingeing- Day 12"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"get-through-december-without-bingeing\"<\/p>\n

Todays Tip<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

You that whole thing that happens when you entertain and you feel like you have to be perfect? That your house has to be perfect, that your food has to be perfect and that your hair, your clothes and your kids have to be perfect? And then something inevitably goes wrong, your tomato aspic comes out looking like an Alpo ad rather than a Martha Steward centerpiece… And you feel sad and you beat yourself up and the whole party is ruined….\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But it’s not. But that’s part of what the ED tells us. That we have to be everything or we’re nothing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One of the motivating forces behind eating disorders is the drive to be perfect. People hope for a perfect body, perfect eating habits, flawless skin,\u00a0 trying to act perfect by always saying the right thing, they try to keep a perfectly clean home and car, and\u00a0 on and on and on\u2013 whatever the individual definition of perfection is . This season is particularly triggering because there is this air of mythical innocence and perfection to Christmas to be like Donna Reed in “It’s a Wonderful Life” (I have a client who will be laughing if she reads this because she thinks I make too many It’s a Wonderful Life” references.) The problem is of course, that nobody is perfect so in the strive for perfection, failure is inevitable. \u00a0And this season is inherently messy. \u00a0Often, because of that, trying to make things perfect becomes a frustrating let down, as well as a horrible blow to self esteem. \u201cI messed up, therefore I\u2019m a failure, I suck, I\u2019m a horrible person\u2026\u201d and descent into depression or further into eating disorder behavior, or other compulsive behaviors follow.\u00a0 Some people have such high expectations of themselves that they feel paralyzed. They can barely function because their belief of what they have to be is unattainable so they figure \u201cwhy bother?\u201dand live in a stuck place where they are unable to go forward with their lives because they hate themselves so much for what they are not. Other people are not so dichotomous and strive toward perfection, but punish themselves when they fail. Like people who have very rigid eating regimens and so if they eat something off their plan they binge, and figure they\u2019ll start all over again the next day. Or they might punish themselves by purging or doing excruciating exercise.<\/span><\/p>\n

Letting go of the myth of perfection is not easy. So many folks have their heads wrapped around that goal that they believe their lives will be meaningless without it.<\/span><\/p>\n